Chapter 8 Most of our ducks are in a row.

Chapter 8

Most of our ducks are in a row.

 The Don Imus Show WABC

New York City

December 23, 2011

“And we are back.”  Looking through his bushy eye brows across the table he continued.

“Tony Powell, do you know how silly you look wearing that ridiculous Santa Clause get up?”

“Are you saying a black man can not be Santa Clause?”

“Sure a black man can be Santa Clause but not with a Green Beard, that’s all I am saying.”

Turning to face his guest Don Imus continued to view the world around him through his thick and bushy eye brows. 

“Our guest for this segment is Congressman Dan Caplass a Republican from Colorado.  How everything out in Colorado?  Do you think Tim Tebow is the real deal or is he just a flash in the pan?”

“ I have a feeling that the Broncos will probably trade him during the off season for a more experienced quarterback.”

“Lots of controversy will follow that young lad what ever happens.  Tell me Congressman Caplass, what do you think of the No Bear Left Behind bill?  I have heard that it will be up for debate on the house floor sometime in mid February.”

“That bill is a farce full of lies and false information!  The American Brown bear is not on the verge of exterminated by man or nature.  There are actually more brown bear in North America now than there was in 1900.”

“But Al Gore says that in 1900 there was half a million Great American Brown Bear in America and now there are less than 1,000 and that it is all caused by man made global climate change.”

“Al Gore is a pompous wind bag.  Even though he says that he invented the internet, he still has no clue how to do a quick Google search.  If there is any thing man made here, it is the so called Crisis of dieing brown bears.”

“Then I take it that you for one will not be supporting this bill when it comes up for a vote on the house floor.”

“No I won’t and it is doubtful that any of the other Republicans will either.  Only an idiot or a plain old fool will vote for this boondoggle.”

“Well okay then. How do you feel about the Buffalo and Denver game tomorrow?  Do you think Tim Tebow can pull off another miracle win for the Broncos?”

“My constituents back in Colorado will probably hate me but I have a feeling that Denver will loose another one really badly like maybe even 40 to 14.”

“Wow that is quite a prediction Congressman.  Do you have any bets on the game?”

“Don, you know Congressmen don’t gamble.  Wink wink.”

ST ELMO’S COFFEE PUB

2300 Mount Vernon Ave

 Alexandria  VA

December  23, 2012

“It looks like we ain’t gonna have a white Christmas this year, Hon.” Said the counter person as she handed Sheldon Franks his hot steaming cup of coffee.

“I Guess not.”  Sheldon mumbled as he shuffled off to sit in an old over stuffed easy chair underneith many black and white photos of famous people who had visited the coffee shop in the past.

 “It’s almost like being in someone’s living room,” Thought Sheldon Franks.  “I wonder where that Russian is he must be stuck in traffic?”

Just then the front door of the shop opened in walked Ivan Ivanovitch bigger than life.  He waved to Sheldon and went to the counter and ordered a coffee.

“Sorry I am late Sheldon, traffic was horrendous but at least the cold weather has sent all those filthy Occupiers in doors for the winter.”

“They ought to ship them all off to Siberia like they do in your former home land.”

“Why are you so grouchy mine friend?  Your No Bear Left Behind is the talk of America.  Everyone I mention it to seems to know all about it and they even mention you by name.”

“There just seems to be something wrong with the whole plan and I can not put my finger on it.”

“I have heard from a cousin of mine out in Idaho, that a friend of his who works for a telecommunications company in Colorado may have the bid to build the smart pad for the Bears.  They even have a name for them, the Bear Paw.  Cute heh?”

“Bear Paw?  I like that.  But it just seems like we are missing something and I can not for the life of me figure what it is.”

“You will mine friend, in due time.” Thought Invan Invanovitch.

Neither Ivan nor Sheldon paid any attention to the man in the over coat who had just entered the coffee shop.  He walked to the counter and ordered up a large cup of Espresso and a Pumpkin Muffin.  Taking his espresso and muffin he moved to an easy chair ten feet away from where Ivan and Sheldon were sitting.  The man had brought a Washington Post news paper with him and after he settled into the easy chair he opened the news paper to the Sports Section and with the news paper hiding what he was really doing, commenced to open up a lazer reflective microphone and after he had pointed toward the two men he turned on the recording device.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW