Chapter 11 Jon Doe meets his Nemesis

CHAPTER 11

JON DOE MEET HIS NEMESIS

January 6, 2012

Denver Post headlines:  Etna Volcano in Sicily Erupts on

Lindsay Auditorium,

 University of Denver

 Denver Colorado

As former Vice President Al Gore looked over the half filled auditorium he was thinking to him self “Don’t these Hill Billies care about global warming?  Where is everyone?”

Every since the former Vice President saw the headlines in the morning news paper he knew exactly how to handle his speech tonight.  “Global Climate Change is killing off our Great American Brown Bear!”

“What a Gem!” Thought good old Al to himself.

After he had shuffled his speech papers the proper length of time he cleared his throat and took another drink of water from the glass stationed on the podium.

“Ladies and Germs…”  Waiting for the laughter to die down he continued.

“My friends of Denver, one of our nation’s greatest assets is on the verge of extinction tonight and it is being caused by us Americans driving our gas guzzling American made cars going to places we do not need to go and for things we do not really need. Did the Great American Brown Bear, who are your neighbors and in whose back yard your folks probably built their second homes.” 

“We Americans should be ashamed of ourselves for the destruction of the habitat of this once great wanderer of the Colorado Rocky Mountains; we need to fix what we and our ancestors have done to this mighty icon of America’s strength as seen around the world.”

“House Bill 1542 has not even come to the floor of Congress yet and you may wonder why that is.  What the Hell is the hold up?  We are in the midst of a National Crisis and the Republicans are sitting on their hands and not allowing the bill to come on to the floor for a yea or nay vote.  Do they care more for the votes of the Tea Baggers than for what is right?  We are in a National Crisis tonight ladies and gentlemen!  Each day Congress does not act two more Great American Brown Bears die.”

“Did you see the headlines in the Denver Post this morning?  Mount Etna in Sisely erupted again!  100 million tons of carbon is spewing into the air over Sisely and we do nothing to stop it!   The scientists of the world have proven that man made climate change is causing all sorts of things to happen around the world, volcanoes erupting, Earthquakes, tsunamis, ice bergs a melting killing off the world polar bear population and no one is doing any thing to stop it!”

Stopping for effect, Former Vice President and current Global Climate Change expert took another glass of water and flashed his eyes around the auditorium. 

“Who was that strange looking man in the aisle coming my way?”  He thought to himself?  “Who ever he is, his mother would have done the world a service by aborting the toad looking person.”

As Jon Doe was twenty feet from the podium, he stopped and as he raised his hand to point his stubby little pointer finger at Al Gore.  He was just about to say something as two secret service men ran & knocked him to the floor.  Enraged and screaming at the top of his lungs, Jon Doe tried to kick at the legs of the Secret Service men calling them Nazi Storm Troopers and Government goons. 

With a knee in his back Jon Doe had his face pressed to the floor and he was starting to hyperventilate and was turning bright purple with rage. 

“Wait just a minute guys, let him up I don’t think the poor guy meant any harm I am sure he just has a point to make.” Cautioned Al Gore inventor of the internet.

Picking Jon Doe up while holding his arms behind his back the two secret service men asked him if he could settle down and be calm.

“Calm?  You want that I should be calm?  While that jack ass up there is telling us lies and proving he does not know anything about any wild life or climate change?”

“You are calling me a Jack Ass Sir?  And what exactly have I ever said that can not be backed up by pure science?”

“The Brown Bear is not in any danger of extinction!  You fat headed Nazi!”

“Now I am not only a Nazi but a fat headed Nazi.  I wonder if that is a promotion of some sort.  You claim that the Great American Brown Bear is not in danger of extinction?  What sort of proof do you have?  I have proof from the federal government that says differently.”

“If you Google American Brown Bear you would see that they reside in Canada and Alaska and very few have ever been in the Continental United States and those in Canada and Alaska are doing just fine!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am sure, you dip shit!”

“Have you talked to anyone else about this situation?”

“No I have not!”  Lied Jon Doe (Sidney Walzenheimer)

“Well, I think you and I need to talk about this issue of miss information provided to me, by my advisers.  Boys, could you take our guest to my dressing room so that he and I can discuss this after I am done with my speech?”

As the two secret service men dragged Jon Doe off to Al Gores dressing room a sense of foreboding came over Jon Doe and he did not think he would be seeing his dear old mother ever again.