Here come the Olympics

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"In advance of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, the Russian government announced that, contrary to popular belief, 
people in Russia will be allowed to protest. But only in a 
special protest zone – known as 'Siberia.'" –Jay Leno


"Tomorrow marks the one-month countdown to the Winter Olympics in Russia. Vladimir Putin said, 'Athletes, you got one month left to train –— and gay athletes, one month left to stop being gay.'" –Conan O'Brien


"Russia has announced that, for the 2014 Olympics, it will 
send the Olympic torch up to the International Space Station. They’ve also announced a new Olympic Event – 'Watching Six Astronauts Have All Their Oxygen Used Up By a Burning Torch.'" Conan O'Brien