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"President Obama's approval rating in the U.S. is at its lowest point
ever, 41 percent. After hearing this, the president said, 'When did I
become less popular in this country than soccer? How did that happen?'"
–Conan O'Brien
"Last night Hillary Clinton said she won't support legalizing
recreational marijuana until we see how it goes in Colorado. Officials
in Colorado couldn't respond because they were too busy swimming in a
pool of money." –Jimmy Fallon
"Over the weekend Afghanistan held its presidential election run-off.
The way it works is everyone runs off, and whoever's slowest has to be
president of Afghanistan." –Seth Meyers
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