The soup Nazi #50

The soup Nazi was a character in one episode of the Seinfeld Show.  One episode, but his " No soup for you!" is a television iconic statement to this very day.

If you are wondering, Chucky is getting all lumping from the radiation and Chemo and he is starting to die.  So sad.

On To Zarahemla #49

This episode is what I call a Chess stratigy episode.  
With so many characters involved (approximately 50-75 so far) it sometimes is a good idea to reflect where everyone is.  

Tomorrow, Chuck will be back and he is still hungry. right now he is prowling the Enterprise for food before he goes in search of the Princess Della.  He has to hand her over to his boss, Darth Vader if he wants to live. 

Now, where do you suppose a person could find food on the Star Ship Enterprise...ah ha!  The galley!  

On a serious side, my other project of cartooning cancer monsters residing in other cancer patients as well as Cancer survivors, will be taking a new twist.  while I am in the Chemo treatment room with about 12 other cancer patients, I am going to offer each one, if I am allowed, to draw a cartoon version of their named cancer.  On Thursday I will be posting those cartoon versions of those Cancer Monsters in this blog along with my cartoon page.

My niece Shirley, who lives up in the state of Maine, has been living with her very own cancer monster she calls Betsy, the brain cancer, for a couple of years.  Yesterday,I did the below for her.  I think I may have to try another version, where Betsy looks more like a bottom feeding Grouper fish. 
 Anyway, my cancer cartoons don't have to look like a rat.  Sometimes they will look like a many legged whatcha call it, because the cancer is in so many parts of the body.   After I draw the picture on my tablet I can then send it to the patients email box.  They can then use the image for the family support T-shirts at cancer walks etc.             Most importantly it gives the cancer patient a visual they can make fun of and give them encouragement for a better tomorrow. 
 With the help from God I can do this.

Disgusting little boys # 48

It looks like Bill misspelled the word Loogies, need to talk to him at the next motivation meeting down in the dungeon.

I am not sure what the young kids call "Loogies"  today but back when I was a kid a "Loogie" was the green slime one one would spit on the play ground to gross out the girls.  Tough guys spit on the ground, right?  Baseball players used to do it before they banned chewing tobacco in the ball parks.  If Babe Ruth did it, the little boys would do it, of course little boys did not chew tobacco, so they spit other stuff.  Of course it is disgusting and that is why little boys do anything.  When I was a kid of the 1950's, the more disgusting the act the more fun it would be.
I am sure little boys who are brought up in our new and improved P C world would never think of spitting flem on the play ground to gross out the little girls.....Actually some things will always be the same.

Clean up on Aisle Five #47

Industrial strength 409 Chemo Cleaner? 

 I bet that is pretty strong stuff.

First Cancer Chuck gets a big dose of Radiation treatment and now Fred is about to spray him good with a dose of Chemo treatment. 

 Could this be the end to Chuck?

  Not by a long shot!

Giving Chuck some radiation treatment #46

I have started to produce individual cartoon images of the cancer that other cancer patients have. Below is what Jim a guy I met a few weeks ago sitting in the waiting room for our radiation treatment, he goes in right after I do and have spent time getting to know each other.  I asked him if anyone had ever called him Jimbo and he said not that he remembered so I asked if it would be okay if I did and sure why not?  Anyway, Jimbo is 72 and has prostate cancer. Yesterday, I asked him if he had named his cancer and no was the answer. 

 "What would you name it?"

  "Ralph", came the reply.

So below is my version of what Ralph, Jim's Prostate Cancer, looks like, sitting in a toilet.

 Later on when this epic little story of mankind's never ending battle of  the scourge of the universe, takes on Prostate Cancer, Ralph will be the monster we set out to kill.

The Battle For The Nursery #45

How about that Chuck bleeds blue blood.  Now you know what I think of people who say they are blood blooded.

Coop Skywalker has been training his troops of little white rats with lazer eyes..In a way I sort of feel sorry for Old Uncle Chuck as he called himself...for about one second.  

First comes the Radiation treatment and then the Chemo treatment..in a few days you will see my diabolical way I am going give Old Chuck an industrial strength application of Chemo treatment..Fred, are ya ready to do your part in this fun and mayhem?

Chuck In The Nursery #44

 Remember George the Rat's ten adorable
 little white rats with those lazer eyes?  
George unwittedly married and mated 
with an Alien and her off spring has
 those lazer eyes....

Will Chuck make it out of the Nursery alive, of course he will this is just the first stop of his eternal damnation..

Gambling is so illogical #43

 

The reason I made Mister Spock the winner 

of the bet on how long it would take for Chuck 

to out run the crazy space shark and 

reach the Enterprise, was that it was totally

 out of character and so illogical for Mister Spock

 to gamble.  On the TV Show Star Trek he 

never once called Captain Kirk, Jim even though

 they were best friends.  

Well folks hang onto your hat, this story is about

 to take a turn down a dark alley into the abyss.  

 I got my inspiration from a Stephen King book

 I once read and then saw the movie, Cujo. 

 A story of sick Saint Bernard who has rabies 

and goes from a gentle soul to a raging killing maniac.  

Well, Chuck is not a gentle kind soul to start off with.  

For the next couple weeks there won't be many 

funny gags just a dark and demented tale of

 desperation and final death.

Coop Skywalker In Jedi Training #42

The following is an actual scene from the very first original Star Wars movie.  Luke Skywalker was trying to hit the floating orb blindfolded.  This version is how I would have shot the same scene.

 Do you remember George the Rat's ten little lazer eyed baby white rats from the village of the damned?  

Who knew that the blue orb that Coop Skywalker was trying to hit was a Mexican Pinata...is it someone's birthday?

It looks like Coop Skywalker has a fan club.  

Could this be important in the future fight against the inter galactic scourge called Cancer?

Jedi knight you will be #41

Sometimes motivation comes in a red dress.

We are gonna need a bigger boat! #40

How about that you can run in outer space, if you are Pure Cancer that is. And he did actually make it to the Star Ship Enterprise..

I wonder if there is a sign over the hatch way for the Shuttle Bay that reads, "These doors will stay open during hours of operation"?  How did the crew of the Enterprise breath with the doors open?

 Please keep in mind from this point forward that Chuck is pure Cancer and nothing else.  As such, he has certain powers such as surviving in outer space with no protection.  

Feed Me! I'm Hungry! #39

      I really think I need to talk to Bill on his forgetfulness.

 Oh, that ought to get his attention.

 Maybe that is all they needed to do in Jaws.

  I have a bad feeling this is going to be a replay

 of the end of the movie JAWS.

Remember Chuck's Pet Space Shark 

that likes to beg for scraps of food 

from this very same row boat? 
Isn't it cute,

 he thinks it is treat time and wants to 

play for his treats.  

Also please remember that Chuck is in an open row boat, paddling from his pirate ship on command from Darth Vader 100 miles to the Star Ship Enterprise. In an open row boat.  I wonder if NASA never thought of using 100 guys to paddle their rockets to the space station?  Sort of like the Viking did to discover America.  Think of the money we could save using man power instead of rocket power.

Betting on the Rat.#38

Who did I pick to kill Chuck?  Even these two guys have no idea, they will soon be heroes.  Great drama!  And in the end my cancer dies. 

 Actually we have been killing off that slime bag monster who resides inside my stomach for the last three weeks. 

Yes, for the last three weeks I have been undergoing radiation and  chemotherapy.  Zapping that monster with some sort of gigantic ray gun and frying him where he lives.  Such a pleasure, knowing what we are doing to him, on his long painful spiral of Death!

Along with the Radiation has been the Chemo treatments where they pump my body with all sorts of strange drugs to poison the puss filled monster until he withers up and dies a slow painful death of poison and radiation.  We are fighting back!

At times laying on that table as that big thing moves back and forth over me, I have felt much like a victim of an alien abduction or from a scene from the much remade movie, WAR OF THE WORLDS. 

Maybe I have seen way too many SCI FI movies in the last 60 plus years but is that really possible?  Too many Sci Fi movies?

Juan as Dirty Harry. #37

 Please remember George is modeled after George Constanza( "Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year.")from the TV show  Seinfeld. 

George Constanza as a Jedi Knight, who woulda thunk it?

Please remember that Obi Juan or just "Juan", is modeled after Clint Eastwood and he is in character playing two parts at the same time Dirty Harry and the guy from The Good The Bad and The Ugly.  How can George Constanza argue with Dirty Harry.  
Interestingly I have notice very few women over the age of 65 back when it was on TV ever watched the show. Maybe the Feds need to do an in depth study to find out why older women did not like Jerry Seinfeld or maybe they just thought it was stupid, maybe Seinfeld is a guy thing, but I think I saw every episode and loved all the kinky characters, even the "Soup Nazi".

When I was drawing this comic page I noticed I had made a mistake with Yoda, he looked somewhat like Mel Brooks..inspiration hit me like a pie inna da face!  Change Yoda to Mel Brooks!  A really old Jewish guy giving American Jewish advise to Jedi wanna bees.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Mel Brooks

Old Pirate and the sea #36

I know I promised not to do any more Enterprise Car Rental gags but this one I could not pass up.  No, I am not being paid by the Car Rental company to plug their product, it just seemed like a funny idea of Snoopy  towing a banner through outer space. Is that even possible?

I added in a "mistake" on this comic page and wonder if anyone will see it.  Keeping in mind that the original Star Trek series was aired from 1966-69 and certain things had not been invented yet and there was no way the writers could even conceive the one thing I placed in two of these panels.

Row Row Row yer boat... #35

 In this epic story like in the movie Star Wars and the TV Show, Star Trek, pure science has nothing to do with a great story.  You and I know there are no such things as a wooden pirate ship flying through outer space powered by solar winds, and there is no way Darth Vader would make General Chuck row an row boat from the Pirate Ship, Flying Scotsman, to the Star Ship Enterprise.  There is no way one could survive in outer space without a space suite, at least not humans and in reality.
 But since I am the co-writer along with my dingy other self Bill, we can make anything happen.  So for the next couple days Chuck is going to be rowing his wooden row boat as fast as his blubbery body can move it in an attempt to catch up with the stationary Star Ship Enterprise. Never mind that the distance between the pirate ship and the Enterprise is about 100 miles, in an open row boat..Who thinks up this demented crap anyway?  Bill make note to take your medicine tomorrow.
One one last thing as Columbo would say, let us not forget about Charlie the Space Shark.  The crew feeds him from that row boat and right now he is circling the row boat expecting to be fed tomorrow.  Oh Darn, Bill forgot to put any food or water in the row boat.  Bill we really need to talk about you forgetting stuff like emergency rations in the row boat, it could cause problems for Chuck really soon......



A couple weeks ago this is what the Millennium Falcon looked like & a few days ago it appeared all nice and clean in a recent comic page.  No one mentioned this new clean appearance.  No, we did not take it to a local car wash to clean it up, that would be illogical.  They ran into an Astro shower and now it is all nice and clean.

All nice and clean.

Here Come Da Judge Here Come Da Judge #34

This one took me a little time in trying to figure
 how to get Darth Vader on the pirate ship, 
how to draw him with rat features and locating 
a picture of the  shuttle.  I thought the
 cross section of his shuttle pretty interesting
 so I included it here.

Darth Vader is not a happy camper as Chuck
 was supposed to hold on to the princess Della
 for Lord Vader.  But along comes Peter Pan
 and swoops her up to his Peter Pan space craft
 and off they went to the Enterprise, even though
 no one needed a car Rental.  I promise that is
 last time for that lame gag.
So let's see if I can bring you all up to speed.  
The main characters from Star Wars minus
 Darth Vader, are over on the Star Ship Enterprise,
 Darth Vader is on the Pirate ship with 
General Chuck ( My Cancer).  Please note 
that since Chuck and the other pirates are
 all Cancer they are getting more and more 
sickly looking.  Is Chuck dying?  No, not yet 
not until the 8th of July, when two members 
of the good guys slice and dice the putrid 
piece of green filth.

Star Date 1326.8. Script Change #33

 
     For the foreign viewer here, let me explain that here in the States we have many car Rental agencies and one is called Enterprise, " We come and pick you up."  At one time I moved cars for them to an repair facility but that is another story for another time and here I digress.
  
  There has been a change in the script of the story line because Bill my head writer, ding dong scatter brain that he can be, forgot that Alderaan was not the planet where Coop Skywalker & Obi Wan Kenobi lived.  Alderaan in the original Star Wars Movie was the home planet of Princess Della and the place of the doomed Peace Conference.  

Since this is a brand new version of an old story line, Bill and I decided to scrap all the names of the old planets and create new planets out of thin air.  I feel almost God like when I can create new planets..

Bill is actually my alter ego, since it is my first name and for fun, like now I pretend that I am not the only person working on this epic cartoon journal.  Bill looks like I do in the winter months, minus the big nose..no not actually that is my actual ears and nose. During the summer months: no beard and no long hair. 

 "But that is another story for another time."  
Michael Ende, The Neverending Story  

Inside Juan's Cantina #32