Sentry Duty

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"President Obama is facing criticism over an incident yesterday where he was
 holding a cup of coffee in his hand, and then used that same hand to salute a Marine.
Though with all that's going on in the world, I'm surprised he didn't salute with a bottle
of Jack Daniels in one hand and a cigarette in the other."
 –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS.
Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move.
'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'"
 –Jimmy Fallon

"The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making
 extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather
 — because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency
of government with the accuracy of weathermen?"
 –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama is being criticized for saluting a soldier while
holding a pumpkin spice latte.
Today he sincerely apologized while eating a maple glazed doughnut."
–Conan O'Brien

Quotes

   Below are the two cartoons from yesterday.

                               ******************************************************

Still working on the pointy eared boss...

I think I finally have him down the way

 I envision him to look.

Today's cartoon kinda sorta contains three quotes from three different quotes from three different places.  The first one is from a slogan by the NRA (National Rifle Association.  The second panel about Major Tom was from the movie Walter Mitty and the song of the same name.  The third panel is a play on a quote from the book Tale of Two Cities.
This series about the confiscation of the staplers may seem a bit strange to most people but with the way things are going in our society....who knows?  When kids can be kicked out of school for making a pistol sign with their fingers and corporations getting paranoid about work place violence who knows what out brave little world will look like in another ten to twenty years.
As it is Berry, the Corporate Cubicle bunny, has an emotional attachment for his office stuff, like his stapler and yellow sticky note pads.  Personally, I hate yellow sticky notes on the walls of cubicles but there are lots of people out there who can not live without the little notes to them selves.   Will the pointy eared boss drive Berry over the edge?  Nope, close at times but Berry will deal with the idiotic decisions the people above him make in the name of progress.

I have a dream !

This is going to be a sort of Graphic novel thingy.

  The Corporate office where Berry works has gotten

 a mandate from Homeland Security and Pres Obama

 that all staplers are now consider weapons of mass Destruction...well at least you could put a staple 

through your hand, personal painful story there. 

As such all staplers are now outlawed and have

to be turned in to Homeland Security for disposal.

Heaven only knows how he will react when

 he is told that those yellow sticky notes pads will

 be going away as well because Corporate has

 gone green to save trees and the bottom line.

Yellow sticky notes

 

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There are two types of people in the world those who like sticky notes and then there are people like me who detest the messy evil little tacky pieces of yellow paper.

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Non-Fat Twinkies?

The Bus Stop

My wife looked at this cartoon and stated, 
" I don't get it."  I suppose lots of people 
won't get this gag but that is the way 
it is sometimes.  After all, what in the
 world could I mean by putting a skunk 
into a Muslim Burka?  
To a lot of people that would be offensive...
to the skunk.
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"President Obama hosted a picnic at the

 White House today for members of Congress. 

Obama said it was a great opportunity to 

gather every member of Congress in one place

 – so he could turn on the sprinklers. Payback!" 

–Jimmy Fallon

"The White House picnic was actually held one year 

after it was canceled. 

Last year the president had too much stuff 

going on to make time for a picnic, 

whereas now he just doesn't care anymore."

–Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton's supporters are calling

 on her to be more herself, after some of 

her recent appearances seemed to be too scripted. 

Hillary said, 'I don't know where you guys get this stuff. 

Shrug and shake head.'" 

–Jimmy Fallon

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                             Debbie Wasserman Schultz ...

                           TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH

                               ****************
                    Debbie is the leader of the  

                           Democratic Party 

               and is a member of Congress

                              from Florida..

     maybe she just has too much on her plate.

Be all you can be....blah blah blah

*****************

You can’t wait for inspiration. 

You have to go after it with a club. 

Jack London

 Even if you are on the right track, 

you’ll get run over if you just sit there. 

Will Rogers

mmmmmm good.

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"This week President Obama gave a big speech

 from White House where he outlined his plan 

to quote 'degrade and ultimately destroy' 

the terror group ISIS. When asked how, 

he said, 'I'll build their website.'" 

 –Jimmy Fallon

"British Prime Minister David Cameron

 went to Scotland this week to persuade 

citizens of the country to vote 'no' on leaving 

the U.K. He said, 'It's never worked out 

for anyone-well except America, and

 Canada, Australia, India,

and . . . I'll stop talking now.'"

 –Jimmy Fallon

Ohhh, that smell...

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Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you 

LYNYRD SKYNYRD

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Halloween in the small mining camp of Acme Wyo (no longer exists, damn!) 

while pushing over an old bachelors outhouse the pranksters

 were interrupted by the old man stepping out of his back door and Yelling, 

"Hey!" At the sound of his voice our biggest kid looked back over his shoulder,

 lost his grip and balance and fell into the hole. 

Without him there to push, the rest of us couldn't hold on and the house 

settled back where it belonged with a resounding thump. 

In the darkness the old man didn't see our partner in crime fall in,

 so we had to creep back and rescue him. 

He couldn't fit through the hole so we had to tip the outhouse over again.

 (more quietly, this time!)

 

 

Honk honk.....Eh?

******************************************

Alfred Hitchock, going through customs,

was asked by a customs official to state his occupation.
Hitchock replied that he was a producer.

'What do you produce?' asked the official.
'Gooseflesh,' replied Hitchcock. 

 If my cartoon offended any Canadians, just think of it as pay back for sending us Justin Beaver.

Yawn.....

 

***************************************************

"Mike Tyson was in Canada yesterday

 and actually met up with Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. 

Of course, it got weird when someone yelled,

 'Loved you in 'The Hangover!'' 

and they both said, 'Thanks!'"

 –Jimmy Fallon

 "Yesterday Mike Tyson traveled to Toronto 

and met with Mayor Rob Ford. It was a meeting

 between one of the most dangerous heavyweights ever

and Mike Tyson." 

–Seth Meyers

"Guess who we may be partnering with to fight ISIS. 

None other than Iran. Iran used to be our enemy back,

 like, last week, but now we may be upgrading 

our relationship to frenemy." 

–Jimmy Kimmel

Selfie

 

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A few months back we were in one of those majestic

 tourist photo spots and all the tourists were 

out there with their mobile phones taking

 snap shots of the other people they were with.  

There was this one lady who had a tablet in 

hand taking scenic shots with it. 

 Nothing looks quite so strange as a person 

taking pictures with a big black sheet of plastic. 

 So now imagine if some racoons found a tablet 

and decided to take a picture of themselves with it.

Two cartoons for the price of one

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Already had the top cartoon done and woke up this morning with the bottom toon stuck in my noggin...so why not?
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"The New York Times had to issue a correction after an article referred to
 Dick Cheney as president of the United States.
 The Times apologized to Dick Cheney and changed his title to 
'former president of the United States.'" 
–Conan O'Brien

"Mike Tyson was in Canada yesterday and actually met up with 
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Of course, it got weird when someone yelled,
 'Loved you in 'The Hangover!'' and they both said, 'Thanks!'"
 –Jimmy Fallon

"Joe Biden will be in Baltimore this weekend to celebrate the 200th anniversary of 
'The Star-Spangled Banner.' Yeah, 200 years —
 or, roughly how long it takes today's pop singers to finish the national anthem." 
 –Jimmy Fallon

New Thing A-Bob from Eye Fone.

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 Dick Tracy wrist radios
 from the 1940's

A statue of Dick Tracy in Naperville, Illinois, USA...Why is there a statue of a cartoon character named Dick Tracy in Naperville you may ask....Well, it had to be put somewhere, didn't it?

The Earth is Also Flat!

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When I am not drawing actual cartoons I like to practice drawing the chacters like the two racoons Milo and Moe. 

Got Chocolate?

*********************

okay I admit I stole the idea for this gag

 from a candy bar commercial... 

I had thought of a different visual gag to go along with the written gag...

Imagine an elephant wrapping it's trunk around a tour bus and slamming it into the earth and Tarzan giving the elephant a chocolate bar and the elephant changing into Tarzan's buddy Cheeta.

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"President Obama will attend a NATO summit in Wales

 this week with 67 other world leaders.

 He’s trying to project strength, so the White House

 says he'll be wearing his toughest shade of tan suit." 

–Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama will be at a NATO summit, 

where he will discuss the recent actions of 

Vladimir Putin, who wasn't invited. 

Then Putin said, 'Has that ever stop me before?'" 

–Jimmy Fallon

Frisky old Ralphy.

There is a hidden joke here.  The University of Colorado's mascot is a buffalo or Bison named Ralphie and Ralphie is a girl Bison.  And as we all know, girls and women never ever get to feeling Frisky.

 Here Ralphie is home on the range outside of Boulder, Colorado USA.

This is the first day of the rest of the football season

Tonight the new America's team, the Denver Broncos will be playing the Indianapolis Colts in Denver's season opener.
The lettering in the cartoon was done on the tablet I have found that you can enlarge the lettering but the tablet still lacks choices on lettering style compared to what I have been using on the laptop...That plus the choices of colors is really limited. (no brown, orange etc etc).  Lastly on this rant against the upgrading to the tablet.  Using the fill function for colors comes out really splotchy and not very smooth at all.  Still working on learning all the hidden stuff in this nifty little gizmo.
It seems like every time I turn around I find a new application I can use on the tablet.  Amazing even further is how far we have come with computers.  No longer do we need paper, pens, pencils, color ink of any kind, reference books.
One thing that is so different I no longer need a computer desk, drawing table or even a chair to draw my cartoons.  No longer do we need even file cabinets...so strange from just ten years ago.
Anyway onward to tomorrow's cartoon...Eventually I will get back to writing some decent and funny gags but the learning of the new process is taking lots of time.  Bear with me and eventually things will  get more professional..unlike some of the cartoons you see in the funny papers.

Old blue eyes

This is my first attempt at doing a cartoon on a tablet..Unable to do the lettering yet on the tablet and can not change the format or size of the cartoon but the drawings seem more smooth.  This is continuing to be a work in progress.  Please bear with me whilst I get the hang of it.

 The top cartoon is taken directly from the tablet and the bottom cartoon I set up on my lap top and was able to do the more better lettering.  On the Tablet one does not have the size or choices of lettering style you get on a lap top and you are unable change the size of the cartoon.  As I said this is a work in process and given that I am an old guy it is a learning process for me.  I am sure all the bells an whistles are there I just have yet to find them.  Too bad I have no close family member who is a whiz bang computer goo rue who could show me these things...right Dan?   But my step daughter Becky is coming for a visit next week and maybe she will show me some of the hidden stuff.  I still like the clunky old key board of a lap top or table top computer over the key board of a tablet.

Bon Appetit

 I am still working on these two little miss fits.  Still no names and it is hard to tell them a part...bear with me and eventually it will all come together.