Fearless Cujo?

Part of the Gomez family after Hector's big sister Tammy got Cujo ready for Halloween.  I find it kind of funny what dog owners do to their little mutts just to amuse themselves as I doubt it amuses the dogs at all.

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Count Dracula I Presume?

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 You might be a redneck vampire...

• If your high society salons revolve around square dances, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your favorite hunting dogs include members of your own clan, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you crush Bloodweiser cans on your forehead, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your coffin is sitting up on cinder blocks, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you think "fully-patched overalls" count as formal attire at court, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your favorite "rack" is the set of deer antlers mounted on the wall, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you have been given a trailer park as your hunting ground, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your idea of Elysium is the beer tent at the county fair, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you have stored spare plasma in a pickle jar, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your city's Nosferatu hangouts consist of a mineshaft, a well and that pile of old tires in the
  back yard, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you think your official clan symbol stands for the Green Bay Packers' "G", you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your fangs are the only teeth left your mouth, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your Prince holds his court in a dairy barn, between milking sessions, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your idea of a penthouse haven is the top of a deer hunting stand, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If you find that you are blood-bound to a moonshine still, you might be a redneck vampire.
• If your raves include a lot of line dancing, you might be a redneck Brujah.
• If you have more body hair than most of the animals on your farm, you might be a redneck Gangrel.
• If you dress like a rodeo clown, and attempt to lead traffic away from people waiting at the
  bus stop, you might be a redneck Malkavian.
• If you've ever tried to organize a tractor pull in your city's sewers, you might be a redneck Nosferatu.
• If you're entranced for hours by the Confederate Jack, you might be a redneck Toreador.
• If your regular bedroom feeding session involves your sister, you might be a redneck Giovanni.
• If you've ever had to collect rabbit dung, live maggots and "one good lugie" for a spell, you might be a redneck Tremere.
• If "prey exclusion" means "a good ol boy packin Skoal and Wild Turkey", you might be a redneck Ventrue.
• If your ghoul makes you sit in the back of your truck, you might be a redneck Caitiff.
• If your idea of a Conclave includes a tent revival, you might be a redneck Prince.

Dewey is back with Gags

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I have decided to move Dewey back to doing the simple gags and laughs instead of the long drawn out, never ending story with Jack Bauer. 

 I kind of painted my self into a corner and it got to a point I just could not do it any longer.  If I had someone who was to write the story line and had more time it would be different...maybe.  

So from now on Dewey will go back to living on the edge of the Twilight zone and snarpy  fish who have a very low opinion of Dewey and his fishing tackle.  

Tomorrow I will be posting a new Tarzan and Cheetah cartoon and I think you will notice a subtle change there as well.  

For me, I would rather draw a funny gag that has absolutely no social value.... in the hope of bringing a smile to someone's day.

New Presidential Photograph

This was actually a learning tool for me in that I had never attempted to do a cartoon on top of a photograph.  There is nothing political here just a silly picture of Pres Obama and the first lady posing for a picture as in the painting American Gothic.  Please do not try to read any hidden messages or any thing.  It is just a silly picture and nothing more.

The new Halloween.

In the mountain towns of Colorado, kids do not bother with costumes for trick-r-treating, it is too freaking cold.   

You bundle up in layers and try to stay warm. 

One does not rush dinner.

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Stir-fry cooks come from all woks of life.

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 Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy?
A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.

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Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long?
A: No sir, it will be round!

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A hungry traveler stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

Never say things can't get any worser than they are.

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More old Chinese sayings

 Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. 

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 

Man with one chopstick go hungry. 

Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

Another case of the Mondays.

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I think I could watch this all day long.  

Killing them softly or Smoke gets in your eyes.

 

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 WHAT’S the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?
The vulture waits until you’re dead before it eats your heart out.

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HOW many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

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Do you know the punishment for bigamy? 

Two Mothers-in-law. 

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Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 

'My mother-in-law is an angel.'
Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.'

Jack 1 bad guys zip

The following takes place between 3:55 PM and 4:04 PM..... give or take an hour or two.

About this time the leader of the bad guys returns to find his men all dead and Dewey and Jack escaped...

Next week: THE SHOOT OUT.

President Obama'f Flock pep talk

Vlad the Blood Sucking Custodian

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 32 Reasons Not to Become a Vampire
1. No more garlic toast.
2. Blood diet causes the WORST morning breath.
3. Thanks to Madonna, Holy Symbols have become fashionable.
4. All elder vampires have that “More Tormented than Thou” attitude.
5. Those pesky mortals all have read the morning paper before you.
6. Eternal embarrassment at having been represented by Tom Cruise.
7. Sleeping in native earth causes toadstools to grow in one’s shorts.
8. Roving gangs of werewolves beat up on vampires just to prove they can.
9. Impossible to get pizza with blood as a topping.
10. Inability to see self in mirror makes grooming difficult.
11. This town has _no_ nightlife.
12. Transilvanian vampire Mafia wants 20% of all the blood you drink.
13. Anne Rice fans constantly pestering you to give them “the Dark Gift.”
14. Complete lack of tan causes people to mistake you for Bill Gates.
15. Can’t find a comfortable coffin anywhere.
16. Dracula’s really not a very nice person when you get to know him. Lestat too.
17. Living in constant fear that spiked collars will become fashionable.
18. Monty Python fans run up to you and say “sharp nasty pointy teeth!”
19. Pallid, pasty, emaciated appearance reminds many of 7-11 clerks.
20. Ever bite the inside of your cheek?
21. Always have to pay full price at movie theaters (no matinees for you!)
22. Fat, smelly mortals still seem to be having more fun than you.
23. Vampire job market limited to 24-hour drugstores and late-night pizza delivery people.
24. Horrible secret of all vampires: The Really Old Underwear Tradition.
25. Male Vampires Only: Ever taken a cold shower? Well make it as cold as the grave and that’s what it’s gonna be like for all eternity. Pack a magnifying glass.
26. Blood banks don’t give away free toaster ovens.
27. You start appending ‘E’s to the ende of every worde.
28. Mortal serial killers much more stylish, efficient, suave, and what’s more, they get all the endorsement deals.
29. Gain a horror-filled depressing world of darkness, lose forever the much more interesting and intelligent world of daytime TV.
30. Lose opportunity to win ten million dollars in Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes due to little-known rule: “Void if dead.”
31. Beach volleyball tournaments rarely held at night.
32. Gravediggers just aren’t as wacky as you remember them.

R&R CENTER.

You Know You have been in Iraq too long when:

• When mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think "still way off, I got another 5 minutes"
• When you start humming with the Arabic song playing on the radio on the shuttle bus
• Every woman that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
• Every guy that reports to your unit starts looking attractive
• You walk an extra 6 blocks to eat at the KBR (contractor run) dining facility to have the exact same food they are serving in your dining facility because you think it tastes better
• You actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet
• You start picturing your wife in traditional Arab dress
• The contractors have more fire power than the military combat units. (This is true)
• You take the time to add your lines to this list
• You've spent $200 dollars at Haji mart on DVDs buying Basic Instinct, 9 and ½ weeks, and Body of Evidence just for the sex scenes
• You drink the water from the tap because you want to drop 20 pounds in two weeks
• Driving around in SUVs with weapons pointed out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems very normal to you
• You can put your body armor and helmet on in the dark in under 5 seconds
• When the organization you work for has changed its name more than 3 times
• When you can actually talk to people in the United States on a cell phone, yet you can't get people on their cell phone a block away
• When you actually spend more time writing e-mail about the dog in the compound versus how to conduct the fight in Najaf
• Your idea of a fun Thursday night is to go to the Palace pool to watch the State Department folks get drunk, naked and try to pick each other up
• When you actually get excited to get a package that contains 3 pair of socks, 12 bars of soap and a Victoria Secret Catalog
• When you start to enjoy the rocking of the trailer every time the MEDEVAC choppers fly over
• You memorized every episode from the 4th Season of Sex in the City
• You enjoy the audience commentary while watching a movie bought at Haji mart
• You see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow the colors are so pretty" and want to fire back
• Your thinking of buying real estate in the green zone
• Your idea of sex is 20 minutes of Instant Messaging with your wife on the computer, OK, 10 minutes, who are you kidding?
• You wake up and think Baghdad, I am still in friggin Baghdad
• You make the new guy show you his count down timer just to make you feel better about your time you have left in country
• You're in the Army and you start saying Ooorah
• You're in the Marines and you start saying Hooah
• You're in the Navy and you realize you are in the middle of the desert, the exact opposite of being in the middle of the ocean, where one might normally find the Navy.
• You're in the Air Force, and you're on the plane home because an Air Force tour is too short to have been a long Iraq tour.  Ignore this list, zoomie, you won't get it.
• You only notice the stench of Haji funk when its not there
• You plan on removing all trees and grass in your yard when you get home so it will look more natural
• You forget there are other colors than brown that can be found in places other than power point slides
• The temp drops down to 102 degrees and you shiver while reaching for your Gortex jacket
• You have noticed a change of season, from long, hot and dry to short, cold and wet.
• When you call home and your kids ask "Who is this?"
• You call home and your wife says hello Bill (your name is Sam)
• When you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "The Olive Garden."
• When you can comfortably shave and brush your teeth using bottled water, but don't mind showering in the "non-potable" local water.
• While on R&R, you look out the window and find Nature, which leads you to wonder who stole your sandbags.
• When some of the contractors wear their DCUs (Desert pattern camouflage uniform) more properly than some of your soldiers.
• When 12 hours is a short work day
• You go Battle Captains!
• When, During the BUA, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs
  within the ISF to square us away!" is a valid comment and generates no questions.
• When you start using words like G'day mate, Cheers, and Bloody hell as part of your normal vocabulary
• When you have your opinions printed in the STARS and STRIPES more than 3 times
• When the palace catches fire and instead of helping to put it out you grab a bag of marshmallows and start roasting
• When you step into any office and there are 6 colonels, 12 lieutenant colonels, 15 majors, and 8 captains supervising the work of 1 sergeant
• When you end every phone conversation with "Out"
• When you're ordered to get an air mission together on short notice because it's a "Hot priority" only to have the Major call back once he is in the air to ask "Does anyone know where I am going?"
• When the weapon buyback program has become so successful that you have issued the same AK-47 to the Iraqi army 3 times
• When you can actually tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar
• When on R & R you tell your wife that your weapon status is Red and your looking for the clearing barrel
• When on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service
• You see an indirect fire attack take out a generator and get angry at the enemy for not hitting the one that powers your computer
• You see an indirect fire attack take out an air conditioner and your vigor to fight is renewed
• You yell at the FNG for shouting incoming when the rounds don't impact close enough to hit your tent with dirt
• You know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit by celebratory fire
• You decide for that for shits and grins - lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper
• You never worry about oversleeping because if the morning call to prayers doesn't wake you, the daily 0430 mortar attack will (most mornings)
• The highlight of your shopping experience at the PX is to see that they got in a new shipment of Schick Tracer razor blades
• When you send out your laundry and your whites become grayer, your blacks become grayer and your DCU's become grayer - makes it easier to sort loads...
• You get offended by people wearing clean, pressed DCU's
• You decide that it is a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during a mortar attack - the woobee will save you and at least you are comfortable
• You make a contest out of seeing who can wear their uniform for more days before becoming entirely disgusted with themselves
• You wonder if the fish served at dinner really was carp caught out of the Tigris or Camp Victory's lake
• You find it completely acceptable to pick your nose while talking to a complete stranger or member of the opposite sex
• A rocket or a mortar really isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine
• You go to a social gathering and intermittent gun fire or explosions don't even cause a pause in the conversation.  ..................................................................................................................................... 
• THE ABOVE LIST COMES FROM:
•  http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/military_jokes_20053100.asp

Next week I will list of : You know you have been in Viet Nam too long when: (it now seems like a life time in the past)

TGIF....

  The idea of this gag came from out of the blue.   But since I have never been to the Middle east I went into Google images for some background scenery, middle east transport trucks etc and came across these following photos.

 I wonder if the above picture was Photoshopped?

 This reminded me someone moving a mattress on top of their car and the driver is actually holding onto the mattress to keep it from flying off the top of the car...Really?

 

Anyone have a caption for this poor guy holding on for dear life.  Maybe there just wasn't enough room in the cab.

LIFE IS GOOD.

One thing I have often wondered, how does Snoopy sleep on top of his dog house?  I have a feeling lots of people have pondered that question over the years.

Mother this is my room mate.......

This is just one of the reasons, Cheetah's mother 

and Tarzan do not get along well.  
 

Jack's visit from God.

The following takes place from 1:35 to 1:45 PM...give or take a few hours.

Jack blacks out and during that time has a visit from someone he thinks is God.  Everyone has a different opinion of what God looks like and to Jack Bauer God looks like Jerry Garcia and Michael looks like John Lennon.  Who knows maybe he is right.

Walked right in like he owned the place!

 This is classic, I bet Jay Carney has no idea who Bagdad Bob was or why some people like me, call him our very own Bagdad Bob.

Jay Carney is the spokesman for President Barack O'Bama.  He took over after the guy ( Bob Gibbs)we  liked to call Dilbert, left for greener pastures a couple of years ago.
Jay reminds me of the kid on the playground who actually liked to get beat up by the neighborhood bullies and then asked for some more of the good stuff.  This guy simply repeats what he has been told to say but he seems to have no clue how many lies he tells and he can do those lies with a straight face.  Truly amazing.
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Jay Carney: Obama trying to focus on economy, not ‘phony scandals’; Update: Obama also refers to ‘phony scandals’

Dodge of the Day: Reporter asks Jay Carney if Obama plans to cut back on lavish vacations and golf trips

March 18, 2013 

Jay Carney denies White House involvement with Jay-Z & Beyonce’s Cuba trip

April 11, 2013

Hector and the haunted lunch room

  

Just having some fun with Eye Balls...

Slurp!

Sometime it is just fun to do a "Cute" cartoon,

 for no real reason.

The Man Called Hoss.

Since I have never been to Syria or any other part of the Middle East I down loaded some photos of Damascus from Google images.

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