Every young man's dream room mate, someone who will happily eat his shit and not drink any of his beer.
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'During his trip to the White House yesterday, Uruguay's president
said that more Americans should be bilingual. Then Joe Biden said,
'Thanks, but I'm happily married.''
–Jimmy Fallon
"According to a new survey, 55 percent of Americans think that they are
smarter than the average American. Said the average American, '55
percent? That's almost half.'"
–Seth Meyers
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