A. He thought he was melting.
A Muslim walked into his mosque with camel-dung in his hands and complained to the Imam, "Look what I almost stepped in!"
Q. How can you tell if you're in a Muslim neighborhood?
A. By the toilet paper hung out to dry.
Q. What does the bride wear at a Muslim wedding?
A. Something old, something black, something borrowed, something black.
Q: Have you seen an Iranian mine detector?
A. It's a young Muslim boy with his fingers in his ears stomping the ground with his foot
Q: What's delaying every Muslim nation from having a space program?
A: Development of a working match.
A. Islam.
A. Muslims can't help crashing their spaceships into tall buildings.
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A Muslim dies and finds himself in front of St Peter at the gates of heaven.
"Hey, what's going on here? Where am I?" he asks St Peter.
"Welcome to the afterlife," St Peter replies.
"No, no this isn't right. I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed, right away."
"Would you like a cappuccino?" asks St Peter.
"No! I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed," replies the Muslim.
"Well, you can talk to Jesus if you want," says St Peter, and goes off to find him.
"Jesus, I don't understand what's going on here," the Muslim says. "I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed."
"Would you like a cappuccino?"
"No, I want to speak to the prophet! Now."
"Well, you can talk to God if you like", says Jesus.
This appears acceptable to the Muslim and off they go. Jesus lets the Muslim into a big room and leaves him. After a few moments there is a puff of smoke and God appears.
"Yes, what seems to be the problem here?" booms God.
The Muslim is very worked up by now. "Look, I don't get what's happened here, I want to talk to the prophet Mohammed!"
"Would you like a cappuccino?"
"Okay, okay," says the Muslim, "I'll have a fucking cappuccino - now will someone please let me speak to the prophet Mohammed."
"Two cappuccinos, Mohammed," says God.
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