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Q: What did the castaway do with the crate of SPAM that washed up on shore of his deserted island?
A: He built an ad-hoc mock-ham-hock-block hammock.
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| THIS IS A BANANA HAMMOCK |
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A
fast-track young business executive had been working quite hard and one
afternoon developed a splitting headache, sufficiently painful that he
decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. He went home, which was
an apartment on the 12th floor of a high-rise condominium, and realized
upon reaching his door that he had left his keys at the office. He rang
the doorbell and with no answer rang it again - and again.
After several minutes his wife opened the door. Her hair was in disarray and she had only her bathrobe on. The young exec was a bit suspicious, so he ran through the apartment looking for someone else. There was no one behind the living room couch, under the bed, in the walk-in closet, or in the bathroom. He ran into the kitchen and found no one in the pantry or under the kitchen table. He then looked over the kitchen balcony, and there, 12 stories below on a patio, was a man slipping on a shirt. Immediately concluding that he had discovered the guilty party, the young exec went berserk, grabbed the refrigerator and, heaving and shoving, managed to dump the refrigerator over the balcony railing.
The stress was so great that the young exec had a heart attack and died. He wafted his way to the pearly gates and there met ST. Peter who commented that he seemed to be quite young for his arrival and wondered why he was there. The young exec told his story, and St. Peter replied that it was a terrible thing that he had done, but that since he had done it in a fit of unreasoning rage there would be some forgiveness and that therefore he could enter heaven at about level 7.
A moment or two later a second young man appeared at the pearly gates, and upon a similar query from St. Peter explained that he didn't know exactly what happened. He had been resting in a hammock on a patio of a high rise condominium, realized that it was 3:30 and that he was working the 4 to 12 shift, leapt out of the hammock to put his shirt on and then, sensing a shadow and hearing a shout, looked up just in time to see that some nut had pushed a refrigerator over a balcony railing. Not having time to move, he was dispatched to the pearly gates. St. Peter, feeling sorry for the young man, and recognizing that he had lived a good life, told him he could enter at heaven at level 2.
No sooner had the young man left than President Clinton showed up. Incredulous, St. Peter pointed out that he hadn't expected the President for some years yet, and asked how he had managed to arrive so soon.
President Clinton responded - To tell you the truth, I don't know what happened. There I was, sitting in this refrigerator, minding my own business...
After several minutes his wife opened the door. Her hair was in disarray and she had only her bathrobe on. The young exec was a bit suspicious, so he ran through the apartment looking for someone else. There was no one behind the living room couch, under the bed, in the walk-in closet, or in the bathroom. He ran into the kitchen and found no one in the pantry or under the kitchen table. He then looked over the kitchen balcony, and there, 12 stories below on a patio, was a man slipping on a shirt. Immediately concluding that he had discovered the guilty party, the young exec went berserk, grabbed the refrigerator and, heaving and shoving, managed to dump the refrigerator over the balcony railing.
The stress was so great that the young exec had a heart attack and died. He wafted his way to the pearly gates and there met ST. Peter who commented that he seemed to be quite young for his arrival and wondered why he was there. The young exec told his story, and St. Peter replied that it was a terrible thing that he had done, but that since he had done it in a fit of unreasoning rage there would be some forgiveness and that therefore he could enter heaven at about level 7.
A moment or two later a second young man appeared at the pearly gates, and upon a similar query from St. Peter explained that he didn't know exactly what happened. He had been resting in a hammock on a patio of a high rise condominium, realized that it was 3:30 and that he was working the 4 to 12 shift, leapt out of the hammock to put his shirt on and then, sensing a shadow and hearing a shout, looked up just in time to see that some nut had pushed a refrigerator over a balcony railing. Not having time to move, he was dispatched to the pearly gates. St. Peter, feeling sorry for the young man, and recognizing that he had lived a good life, told him he could enter at heaven at level 2.
No sooner had the young man left than President Clinton showed up. Incredulous, St. Peter pointed out that he hadn't expected the President for some years yet, and asked how he had managed to arrive so soon.
President Clinton responded - To tell you the truth, I don't know what happened. There I was, sitting in this refrigerator, minding my own business...
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