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Father Son Hunting Trip
A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said "Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field."
A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.
"What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."
The son answered" "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck."
"But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, should we eat them here or take them with us?"
"I guess I just panicked"."
Q: Why does it take more than one squirrel
to screw in a light bulb?
A: Because they're so darn stupid!
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There were four county churches in a small Arkansas town: The
Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the
Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with Gods divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with Gods divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a large plywood cover on the baptistery and flood it.
The squirrels escaped somehow and there
were twice as many there the next week.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of Gods creation.
The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of Gods creation.
So, they humanely trapped the
squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town.
Three days
later, the squirrels were back.
But the Methodist Church came up with the best and most effective solution.
But the Methodist Church came up with the best and most effective solution.
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of
the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
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