Oh....Bother!

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"The man in charge of investigating

 the 2012 Secret Service prostitution scandal 

has quit after he himself was caught

 with a prostitute – which explains why

 President Obama just appointed an irony czar." 

–Jimmy Fallon

"David Nieland, the man investigating

 the Secret Service prostitution scandal, 

was caught with a prostitute. 

I don't know what's more surprising 

— that they caught him with a prostitute,

 or that the Secret Service actually

 caught someone." 

–Jimmy Fallon

"Next month Joe Biden is scheduled to

 make stops in Turkey, Ukraine, and Morocco

 to discuss foreign policy issues

 — while his advisers are learning how to say

 'We're sorry' in all three languages."

 –Jimmy Fallon

"The investigator who led the probe 

in the Secret Service prostitution scandal

 was caught with a prostitute. 

When cops found them together,

 he said, 'Hey, I'm

investigating here.'"

 –Conan O'Brien