Chapter 4 The Wiz Bang Program

CHAPTER 4

The Wiz Bang Program

 Monday November 7, 2011

The three men sat facing each other across the table and one could feel the air of excitement in the air.  Before the meeting of the three men, a team of electronic bug experts had swept the room for listening devices.  A small microphone had been found in the air duct and had quickly been destroyed.  The bug guys had finally left and the doors closed and locked.  The meeting between GS-12 Leonard Badowski and the two other men was finally able to start.

“Are you sure this will work, Raj?”

Doctor Raj Ratatji had been born in California to parents who had imigrated from India in 1965, he had graduated from Stanford University with an undergraduate degree in environmental biological studies.  He could find no job and went on to graduate with his masters Degree Electrical engineering at the University of Colorado at Boulder at the age of 20.  From there he had graduated from MIT for an advanced Doctorate in Microbiology.  GS-11 Doctor Raj Ratatatji is the resident bear expert for The Department of the Interior.

“Of course it will work!  Those Brown Bears can be trained to use the I-Pad and we will be able to train them in 2 weeks max, for each bear.”

“What about you Howard? Do you think you can get those damn Senators and Congressional Representatives to go along with the initial funding for Project “No Bear Left Behind?”

“I don’t think we will have any problem with the Democrats but those T-Bagging Republicans tend to drag their heels on any new fangled science and social programs.”

Howard Hackett was an environment activist from Green Kamp.  Green Kamp is largely unknown to the average American even though they had gotten many environmental regulations passed through Congress that had succeeded in closing down many factories in the Northeast and ski resorts in the West.

 Howard Hackett had been a licensed attorney in Idaho until he was found guilty of burning down the ski resort in Moose Jaw Basin, Idaho, in 1995.  After he was released of prison in 2003, he joined the Green Kamp movement and risen quite rapidly to the Supreme Komidant of the environment organization.  The organizational statement of Green Kamp was that: “Man and wild beast can not live together. Remove humans and all forms of civilization from North America,  so that Mother Nature’s true inhabitants of America can finally live in peace and tranquility.” 

“Leonard, those Tea Bagging idiots in Congress are a real pain in the ass!  They seem to be on some sort of frigging holy mission and it seems like the only thing they ever say when asked to support any of our programs is, “Not just no, but Hell NO!” 

“Howard, do you think there is enough support from our Democratic friends to get the ball rolling?”

“Most of them from the North East and the West Coast will support anything we ask of them.  My people are starting a media blitz next week.  It will be like what we did for Global Climate Change.  Ed is on board from MSNBC and we even got   Brad Clooney to narrate the infomercial that we will be running on ABC, CBS NBC and Public Radio and Television.”

“Won’t be putting any of the videos on Fox News?”

“Are you kidding?  They are as bad as the Tea Baggers!  They won’t even allow us to enter any Fox Television station let alone the Fox News building in New York or Washington.”

Doctor Raj Ratatatji, was looking at the mock up of the Bear I-Pad that was laying in the middle of the table.  Turning it over, he could see the large handle that the bears would use when operating the Bear I-Pad.  He was quite proud of the work his people had put into the device in such a short time and when he thought that the device had only cost $159,995.58 for the research and material.  He was truly amazed that it had been done for such a low price.  Ahh, American Know-How at it’s finest!

  Word had gotten to Leonard’s tight little group that the Russians had run into several problem areas with their own device and the implementation of their bear control program was running into one delay after another.  It was truly amazing how much information Russian friend of GS-7 Sheldon Franks at the Russian Embassy was able to smuggle out of the embassy to Sheldon.  GS-7 Franks must have some impressive control with this Russian, who ever it was.

“Do you suppose that Howard would mind showing us the video his group is releasing to the major media groups?”  asked Doctor Ratatatji.

“Not at all!  I actually have it on my I-pad and I can send it wi-fi to that office flat screen television there,” Howard said pointing toward the large flat screen television in the far corner of the room.

The video started with sad music and a long shot of a couple a lone brown bear standing in a small rocky stream looking around as if in search of fish in the water.  The scene shifted to another brown bear moving a large rock as if in search of insects to eat.  Brad Clooney’s voice over started in a calming manner.

“For many years now, the Great American Brown Bear has been neglected and is now on the verge of extinction.  Factory pollutants and industrial waste has all but destroyed the Great American Brown Brear’s natural habitat. Humans have encroached on the Great American Brown Bears natural environment with new homes and communities being built in places where just a few years ago the Great American Brown bear roamed in complete freedom.  With the encroachment of humans on Bear Country the bears have had to move further and further away from their natural home.   No longer can the Great American Brown Bear find food to eat and females to mate with.”

The video continued with more scenes of lonely brown bears digging for ants and other insects under large rocks. 

“The Great American Brown Bears are in a crisis!  They are fighting for their absolute survival and they are counting on Congress to pass HB 1542, the NO BEAR LEFT BEHIND LAW. HB 1542 will fund the study and secure the safety of the Great American Brown Bear for future generations.  We need YOU to contact YOUR United States Congressional Representative and Senator!  Urge them, dare I say, DEMAND them to vote for this very important bill when it comes up for vote in January. This is a Crisis and the Bears are counting on you fighting for their survival!”

Another lonely bear on the screen was now slowly walking along a mountain trail, in the background could be seen the sky line of Denver, Colorado.  It appeared that the bears were moving away from the humans who were encroaching on their own territory.

“This is for the Great American Brown Bear!  Don’t let them down with your indifference!  Call your Congressional representative and demand that they support HB1542.  The Bears are counting on you with out your help and support there may not be any little Brown Bear cubs born next spring. This is a crisis like no crisis we have ever taken on and we need your help.  Call now!  Don’t wait for your neighbor to do it for you.  Call now!”

The video ended with a silhouette shot of a lone bear standing up right looking over a valley with the sun setting in the back ground and America the Beautiful was playing softly in the back ground and slowing an image of an fluttering American flag was superimposed over the scene.  The message at the end of the video only said that the video was made with a grant from AMERICANS FOR THE SURVIVAL OF THE GREAT AMERICAN BROWN BEAR.

The three men were silent for a minute and then GS-12 Leonard Sadowski and Doctor Raj Ratatatji both stood up and started clapping.

“Bravo! Mister Hackett, you have out done yourself!  Your video is a master piece!”  

“Well thank you Mister Badowski, it was a group effort.  That is my motto; no creation was ever done by just one person.”

“Be that as it may, it was very moving and I am sure all Americans who view it will back us up 100%.  We will once again beat those Russkie Commies to the goal line Spike the ball and win another one for the Gipper!”

Howard Hackett was not sure if GS-12 Leonard Badowski was aware that the Russians were no longer Communists or that the Gipper (Ronald Reagan) was no longer the president.  If he could get more grant money from the Congress with this idiotic idea, he could play the game.  Howard Hackett was a survivor and a realist.  He did not really believe the BS that the Green Kamp Movement put out but it did provide him a nice living for his family.  The money he made off The Green Kamp Movement was nice but nothing close to what he was able to skim off the federal government and that extra amount help pay for his very large overhead.  The vacation home down in the Caribbean that he shared with his girl friend, the private plane and the New York pent house ate up most of the millions of dollars he had been able to skim off he idiots in Congress and the Government bureaucratic office lizards he had to deal with.  It was a hard life but somebody had to play the game and skim the millions of bucks each year. After all if Howard Hackett didn’t do it someone else would.  

                                 CONTINUED TOMORROW