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Last night of course was the State of the Union address, and during his
speech, President Obama promised to focus on economic growth, education,
and healthcare. Or as people tuning in put it, 'Oh crap, it's a
rerun.'"
–Jimmy Fallon
"It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years."
"It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years."
–Jay Leno
"In anticipation of the Winter Olympics, a female curling champion
released some sexy photos of herself curling in lingerie. When asked for
comment, Americans said they're still not going to watch curling."
–Conan O'Brien
"The mayor of Sochi is now saying that there are no gay people in Sochi. So the only thing that is flaming over there now is the Olympic torch."
"The mayor of Sochi is now saying that there are no gay people in Sochi. So the only thing that is flaming over there now is the Olympic torch."
–David Letterman
"Justin Bieber was booked for assault for an incident that happened in
December. Boy, this kid is on a real crime spree. He's become a menace
to society. I liked him better when he was just a menace to music."
–Jimmy Kimmel
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