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Jack Bauer once strangled a man with a cordless phone.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer would have gotten the ring to Mordor within 24 hours.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is
stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
What goes up must come down. Except for Jack Bauer, if Jack Bauer wants to stay up, he can fucking stay up.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
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