holding a cup of coffee in his hand, and then used that same hand to salute a Marine.
Though with all that's going on in the world, I'm surprised he didn't salute with a bottle
of Jack Daniels in one hand and a cigarette in the other."
"President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS.
Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move.
'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'"
"The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making
extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather
— because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency
of government with the accuracy of weathermen?"
"President Obama is being criticized for saluting a soldier while
holding a pumpkin spice latte.
Today he sincerely apologized while eating a maple glazed doughnut."