Sunday, May 12, 2013

Here is to everyone's Mom.

 * A mother may hope that her daughter will get a better husband than she did,
but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

* Proud father to mother as they watched their small son lying on the floor
studying by the light from the TV screen. "Reminds you of Abe Lincoln, doesn't

* Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can
tell when he's really in trouble.

* Garbage is a collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns
to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.

* Last year I got my wife a mother's day gift that left her speechless. In fact,
she didn't speak to me for three weeks. 

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there. 
"That's not the same woman I had growing up.....That old woman is trying to get into heaven." Bill Cosby
"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."  Rodney Dangerfield 

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