Doctor Frankenstein's First Monster

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"Over the weekend President Obama

 told Americans not to panic about Ebola.

Then when asked about the Democrats'

 chances in the upcoming midterm elections, 

Obama said, 'Man, that Ebola sure is scary.'" 

–Conan O'Brien

"After embracing the gay community

 last week, the Vatican is now 

distancing itself from those comments. 

The Vatican explained, 'Hey, that was

 just one crazy weekend, OK? 

We've all had them, right?'" 

–Conan O'Brien